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Drafting Guys over 60
Posted: March 13, 2010 12:11 PM  
Newbie
Total Posts:  2
Joined  09-22-2007

This is funny & obviously written by a former Soldier…

New Direction for any war:  Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!!  How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!  If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They’ll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it’s in big type so they can read it.

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Posted: December 16, 2010 07:15 AM  
Newbie
Total Posts:  7
Joined  05-30-2010

Hear, Hear! This something I would jump onto in a second. Having been a US Navy Hospital Corpsman, who was not only assigned to the Marine (Grunt companies), I was also assigned to “Tin Can” (Destroyers for those who don’t what a “Tin Can is). I can envision it now: You’re asleep in your rack, and some crazy zeal lot decides his cause is more important than the need for sleep, decides to attack, You jump out of your rack, grab your firearm, run the fuck out out into the calmity, and say Okay mother fucker, you want a piece of me, come and get it cause I’ve got nothing to lose, then proceed to lock & load on the dumb sum bitches.
Case in point, we’ve several opportunities to take out Osama Bin Laden, and because of politics, that did not happen. If had been an “Old Guy” in charge of taking him out, the “Old Guy” would’ve said, “Fuck that noise, he’s creating issues, what do I have to lose, and besides I want to go home and have a cold one. So I say yes to recruiting “Old Guys” to get the job done.

 Signature 

Life sucks & ain’t a damn I can do ‘cept try to get a knobber out of it!!!!

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Posted: May 10, 2011 09:53 AM  
Newbie
Total Posts:  2
Joined  05-10-2011

I’d go and even provide my own guns.

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Posted: May 17, 2011 03:37 PM  
Newbie
Total Posts:  4
Joined  07-30-2009

I totally agree. Send us old farts and they’ll never know what hit them. Them youngin’s keep thinking about what’s next instead of taking them down now instead of later. Give me the sheet. Where do I sign.  cool mad

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Posted: May 30, 2011 09:57 AM  
Newbie
Total Posts:  5
Joined  05-16-2011

You have done your service and you deserve to live your life now..let those young guns go and let them learn what it takes to be a man.

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